Encased by my pericardium.

Welcome back all kick ass diction fans. Sorry for the hiatus the blog has been busy with producing for other blogs about theatrical things. Link at the bottom if you want it ;)

But today I would like to discuss something well, quite close to my heart.

5 Life lessons I have learnt from Jay-Z. (The Motherfudging greatest).

1.     If your real name is Shaun Corey Carter. Change it to something dope.  I mean your probably going to get bullied for being an ER doctor, South Park character or the 39^th president. Not to mention simply being called Shaun. So if you’re called Carter change the name change the scene. May I suggest ‘Dee-Y’, ‘Gee-F’ or ‘Ess-O’.  You’ll be so cool, your life will be a walking Lynx advert.

      2.   If you ever get the chance, Marry Beyonce. This is very important advice to everyone, if you have a chance and you like it. Then put  a ring on it. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m Beyonce and walk around in a black leotard I mean we all have our coping strategies.

      3.  When you are selecting your top bro’s always select Barack Obama. Not only is ‘Bambam’ the president of the US of A. He is one of the single coolest people on the planet. In fact if he said ‘YOLO’ or ‘Swag’ I’d probably be like ‘Oh my god his lexical choices are quite delectable’.

     4.  If you gotta do a crappy career. Wear a suit. I mean he’s a rapper ‘the ghettoest job ever’ but he wears like suits. He’s like the godfather of Rap music. The man has the dress sense of a member of the rat pack. Got a crap job? Wear a Baddass suit. We can also observe this lesson from batman.

      5.If you’re depressed, get a dog. I mean he even said himself, he had 99 problems but his dog wasn’t one. So if you have had a hard day at work, or a bad day, get a dog. So they can cheer you up! But if your dog misbehaves it’s best to just kill it. I recommend the Will Smith technique as shown in I am Legend. Because you can have 99 problems but it should never include your house pet.

I hope you can learn from these things too. I hope you can be the greatest and fight your own way from the ghetto, and marry Beyonce.  Even if you don’t it’s just how Conall sees it.

Our theatre groups blog:
http://escapecytblog.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/faust-us-conall-borowski-and-kyle-shiels/