Today Me and Kyle began with an argument over who would
type. Because Kyle does not have word, Conall is typing. Bloody incompetent White
people. They should call you the Kite
Runner. Haha literary joke Kyle didn’t understand because his favourite book is
the hungry hungry caterpillar.
At this point Conall began a writers’ strike. So Kyle took over the writing.
Well, welcome to the blog that is designed to make me look bad, and Conall like a God. This post should put me in a better light, as your "hero" Conall is on a writer strike. And by writer strike, I mean on the same Skype call with me, trying to retune his horrendous sounding guitar. #NIRVANANIRVANA #YOLO #TESLA
At this point Conall began a writers’ strike. So Kyle took over the writing.
Well, welcome to the blog that is designed to make me look bad, and Conall like a God. This post should put me in a better light, as your "hero" Conall is on a writer strike. And by writer strike, I mean on the same Skype call with me, trying to retune his horrendous sounding guitar. #NIRVANANIRVANA #YOLO #TESLA
Today we will discuss dating, again. A subject which 50 per
cent of this blog writing team knows a little something about, massive clue, it’s
Kyle. Kyle plays the field. KYLE you whore.
Yup, it's me. I'm an expert on the theory side of the
things. Kind of like how when you know all the rules to football, but never actually
play football because you have crippling bad asthma and an inferiority complex
which always leaves you on the side-lines. I mean I read a lot of books on the
subject and by books I mean articles and by articles I mean, the lust page of
the metro (sometimes).
Kyle then thoroughly regretfully said ‘Conall, you’re going
to have to type this. I have absolutely no idea what to say’.
So I am renaming this blog post. Kyle’s desire to be unhappy.
Conall: Why do you wanna be so unhappy Kyle?
Kyle: It’s because the world is full of kittens and I am a raving homosexual. *this was edited because Kyle’s answer was too mushy*
Conall: SO Kyle what’s your type?
Kyle: Single, and lonely. Intellectual but not as intellectual as you.
Conall: On a scale of, Britney to Voltaire, how intellectual?
Kyle: I say maybe, I dunno. Smarter than me because I can’t think of anyone with a similar IQ to which I desire.
Conall: What about looks Kyle?
Kyle: I really can’t afford to be picky.
Conall: So basically the three things you require, are being female, watches doctor who and sight impaired?
At this point Kyle repeated ‘Asshole’ a few times, so I assume you need one of those too.
Kyle: All I have ever done is love you. You’re just so cruel to me.
So I wrote a poem. It goes like this.
Once there was a boy from Leeds / Who invaded all Facebook feeds / He's always online, he has way too much time, / Also an enthusiast of beads
Conall briefly reviewed this: You’re so deep you are like a well. You are well. This sad sad story which you reflect through your blank verse is extremely personal and we can see Kyle at a real low point in his life. Like Sylvia when her oven wouldn’t turn on.
Kyle: It’s because the world is full of kittens and I am a raving homosexual. *this was edited because Kyle’s answer was too mushy*
Conall: SO Kyle what’s your type?
Kyle: Single, and lonely. Intellectual but not as intellectual as you.
Conall: On a scale of, Britney to Voltaire, how intellectual?
Kyle: I say maybe, I dunno. Smarter than me because I can’t think of anyone with a similar IQ to which I desire.
Conall: What about looks Kyle?
Kyle: I really can’t afford to be picky.
Conall: So basically the three things you require, are being female, watches doctor who and sight impaired?
At this point Kyle repeated ‘Asshole’ a few times, so I assume you need one of those too.
Kyle: All I have ever done is love you. You’re just so cruel to me.
So I wrote a poem. It goes like this.
Once there was a boy from Leeds / Who invaded all Facebook feeds / He's always online, he has way too much time, / Also an enthusiast of beads
Conall briefly reviewed this: You’re so deep you are like a well. You are well. This sad sad story which you reflect through your blank verse is extremely personal and we can see Kyle at a real low point in his life. Like Sylvia when her oven wouldn’t turn on.
So if anyone with thick glasses, a skirt and loves doctor
who is reading this blog. Please call: 0755202 (i have left this phone number incomplete because Kyle said it was unfair hint. The last 4 numbers are 1234).
Forget red nose day, this is the charity appeal you need to be part of.
Because that’s how Conall sees it.
Forget red nose day, this is the charity appeal you need to be part of.
Because that’s how Conall sees it.
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