Exams.

Welcome to all the stressed out teenagers and angst ridden young adults. Who are currently struggling through their exams. I know you’re all feeling awfully like a quadriplegic Sisyphus right now and you’re social life is about as good as Kyle’s… 

For example and I quote ‘Thinking of buying a milkshake and a chocolate bar for my Saturday night. Too wild?’ The less said the better.

Anyway I wanted to help out all you kick ass diction fans. With some kick-ass exam tips, mighty enough to make examiners tremble… Or maybe just chill you out a bit.

-         - Take a break. You know after you’ve done those 6 hours studying how nuclear reactors work, or how many catholic Spaniards died in the Spanish civil war or how valuable the blue prints are for the bat mobile. It’s best to take a break. The brain needs rest it’s like a hamster in a sci-fi film that has to power the world on it’s wheel, in this analogy you’re the hamster and you need to rest. (Better analogies on a postcard please). In fact you’re taking a break now. Read on…

-      -    Get on some new tunes! Music helps me revise I think it should help everyone. Current revision favourites, Explosions In the sky (for those who can’t revise with words). See the earth is not a cold dead place. Alessi’s Ark – Constellations and Anais Mitchell –Changer. But feel free to throw in your own vibes.

-       -   If you have to cram. Cram 24 hours in advance. Yes science backs this… I don’t really have anything funny to say… This is a genuine tip.

-          - Get a dog. Everyone needs a constant friend every now and then.

-         -  Recapture you’re childhood: get a bouncy ball. Bouncy balls are cool. Or make a sock puppet and get it to recite Blake.

-        - Every morning repeat the following
‘I [insert name] am a complete don at everything. I am the crazy 60’s love child of Tesla and Shakespeare. Examiners fear me because I am ready to kick the worlds behind. Exams got nothing on my Greek god like calves. *jump up and down three times and repeat* I am a tiger I am a tiger I am a tiger.

-       -  This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQi8W1afSEQ

-        -  And last but not least. Exams aren't the be all end all. They’re just their to give you a piece of paper that says you can do something. Value yourself as a human a bit more and relax. Lets all love each other a little more.

Because that’s how Conall sees it.