Hello there. So, it's been a while since I contributed to this blog that was actually originally mine. To say Conall has kept it alive would be an understatement. BUT I'm back now, and will be writing about something I think we can all relate to.

In Conalls last post, he taught us what we can learn from good ole' Jay-Z. So to that end, I decided to write about what we can learn from Mr Kick-Ass Diction himself, Conall Borowski.

5 THINGS CONALL BOROWSKI HAS TAUGHT ME

1) Spitting in someone's face is sometimes the right way to do it. During our drama groups latest production of Faust, the final scene had me dragging a yelling Conall from the stage (How I actually imagine he will go one day). While we practised it, I noticed that I was getting quite a large amount of saliva thrown at me. When asking about it he simply replied "If you're not spitting on them, you're not doing it right."

2) If you're better than someone at something, make sure they know it. While I type this, I'm recovering from a day of cricket with the C-Man. A day in which he won, well, everything. I know this because he told me. And told me again. And told me again. A trait that would earn many people a swift and painful punch (not from me of course, I bruise like a peach) seems oddly endearing on Conall. We can all learn a valuable lesson from this. I'm just not sure what it is.

3) Swords.

4)  A good Powerpoint presentation can get you very far in life. I haven't known Conall THAT long, but in the short time we have been friends, I have learned the importance of Powerpoint. The things that can be achieved with a fancy background, bullet points and a list are uncountable. Ranging from school projects to getting dates. I repeat. Powerpoints. It's the way forward.

5) Everything I like is wrong. In previous blogs, you may have noticed Conalls constant jabs at what I like. Over the course of our short but on-going friendship, I don't think Conall and I have found a single thing that we have in common. Nope. Not one. He likes Jazz, I like anything but jazz. I like Imagine Dragons, he likes to make fun of the fact I like Imagine Dragons.

While these lessons are all harsh in their own way, it never seems to detract from the fact that Conall is actually a decent human being who is quite fun to be around. I'm sure he'll teach me many things over the next few months before he ditches me for Uni, and I'm sure we'll have many more stories to tell.

Till next time.

Kyle.

Encased by my pericardium.

Welcome back all kick ass diction fans. Sorry for the hiatus the blog has been busy with producing for other blogs about theatrical things. Link at the bottom if you want it ;)

But today I would like to discuss something well, quite close to my heart.

5 Life lessons I have learnt from Jay-Z. (The Motherfudging greatest).

1.     If your real name is Shaun Corey Carter. Change it to something dope.  I mean your probably going to get bullied for being an ER doctor, South Park character or the 39^th president. Not to mention simply being called Shaun. So if you’re called Carter change the name change the scene. May I suggest ‘Dee-Y’, ‘Gee-F’ or ‘Ess-O’.  You’ll be so cool, your life will be a walking Lynx advert.

      2.   If you ever get the chance, Marry Beyonce. This is very important advice to everyone, if you have a chance and you like it. Then put  a ring on it. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m Beyonce and walk around in a black leotard I mean we all have our coping strategies.

      3.  When you are selecting your top bro’s always select Barack Obama. Not only is ‘Bambam’ the president of the US of A. He is one of the single coolest people on the planet. In fact if he said ‘YOLO’ or ‘Swag’ I’d probably be like ‘Oh my god his lexical choices are quite delectable’.

     4.  If you gotta do a crappy career. Wear a suit. I mean he’s a rapper ‘the ghettoest job ever’ but he wears like suits. He’s like the godfather of Rap music. The man has the dress sense of a member of the rat pack. Got a crap job? Wear a Baddass suit. We can also observe this lesson from batman.

      5.If you’re depressed, get a dog. I mean he even said himself, he had 99 problems but his dog wasn’t one. So if you have had a hard day at work, or a bad day, get a dog. So they can cheer you up! But if your dog misbehaves it’s best to just kill it. I recommend the Will Smith technique as shown in I am Legend. Because you can have 99 problems but it should never include your house pet.

I hope you can learn from these things too. I hope you can be the greatest and fight your own way from the ghetto, and marry Beyonce.  Even if you don’t it’s just how Conall sees it.

Our theatre groups blog:
http://escapecytblog.wordpress.com/2013/05/01/faust-us-conall-borowski-and-kyle-shiels/